I've been thinking about my dad a lot this week. And lately, the things that make me miss him most are the things I realize were the "last time" I'd get to do that with him.
For instance, we went to Tito Macaroni's at the Coeur D'Alene Resort last Friday night for dinner. It is inside a resort building that has a handful of charming little stores and a couple of restaurants surrounding a sitting area in the middle. After dinner, as we meandered around the little shops, we paused by the sitting area and let the boys run around for a minute. As we were standing there, Brian said: "Do you realize that the last time we were here, your dad was hiding from the boys behind that planter?" My heart sank. It wasn't any big thing, but the ONE time my parents were able to come to see us up in CDA (to help us move into our home), we went walking around those shops with them. And in dad's true fashion, he took advantage of EVERY opportunity to play with they boys - playing hide & seek in the shopping center. I miss those playful moments, as I know my kids do.
Tonight we went to dinner at Caruso's Deli. As we were devouring our fare, Brian again says: "I think the last time I was here was when your parents were with us." Again, my heart sank. I HATE that I have experienced any "last times" with my dad. I miss him so much. It breaks my heart that he won't be coming up for any visits to play with my kiddos and see where we live. I would love to share so much with him about our lives up here. I am super excited that my mom is coming up for a visit in less than a week, yet I wish it were different. I wish I could turn back the clock to that week that they were supposed to come for Kimball's birthday in October, and somehow change that event that changed my life forever. And they would both still have come up to celebrate that weekend, and would both be coming next week. What fun we would have.
I will make my mom a dump cake for her birthday when she comes because I know that dad would just LOVE to make her one last dutch oven cobbler. Miss you dad. Happy Birthday mom.
9 comments:
I wish those things for you too Cathy. I'm so sorry that you even have to go through these sorrows.
:( Hang in there. Loves!
My heart hurts for you.
Ahhhhh...so I logged on tonight wanting to check in and you...I've been thinking of you ALL alot! And I found this post!I wish so bad you weren't having to have these moments! My heart aches for you! Hang in there, just keep him in your memories and hold him tight in your heart! Love you! Hugs to all!
Sounds like Brian misses him, too.
Too bad that turning back the clock thing never works.
Thanks for writing this.
Sorry Cath. We too have those moments often. We miss him.
That was touching and it made me tear up. I know it is so hard. I am glad that you have such a great family. What a blessing. I think about you a lot and hope you are doing well. Miss you. my email is changed to krisbleazard@gmail.com, okay? let me hear from you sometime.
Sounds like you could use one of those hugs you love so much :) I would give you two if I could....(don't cringe)
Ah Cath~ So sorry! I have not seen my Dad in 10 years. I totally undrestand the "last time" things even though he did not pass away. Chin up Charlie!
I wish everyday that it were October 19th and I had a chance to tell him one more time how much I love him and how him being gone is going to rip our lives apart. Life just seems so unfair! I wish that this life experience could have just passed us by! Loves to you all from Cedar
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